Redemption IV

It was late in the afternoon and Joey Parker was sitting in the funeral home waiting for the rest of his family to show up for his fathers funeral. The last 48 hours for him had been the hardest days of his life. His father was gone. He had died and home while Joey was out at a party. For Joey that night had been a blast. He made new friends, danced, he got high and had the best time he had ever had at a party before. It was New Years after all, it was supposed to be fun.
As the party came to an end, Him and his friends Jack, Todd and David walked home. They joked and grabbed and pushed at each other like kids from the 5th grade.
They dropped Jack at his house first, then continued on to  Todd's house leaving David and Joey to walk the rest of the way home alone.
Joey and David were best friends since 3rd grade. Now they were in High school and shared homerooms and a lot of their classes. Guy was the math guy while David liked science best. They were both passing though some classes barely. There would be some make up classes next year. Their junior year. They both knew that though they were looking for some way to get out of it.
As they reached Hamilton Ave, David said good night and turned down his street. He could see the lights were on in his house. They must be still up waiting for him.
Leaping two steps at a time David hurried into his house. He really wasn't in the mood to talk to his parents. He had been drinking and they would smell it all over him. He opened the door quietly dreading what he knew was about to happen.
"Hi Mom." He said as he walked through the kitchen. "How was the party?"
David looked at his mother who's eyes were swollen with tears. She fad been crying. Something was wrong here.
"Mom? What's the matter?"
"David, where's Joey?"
"He's on his way home." David said looking nervous. "Why? What's going on?"
"I want you to go out there and catch him before hi gets home." She said. "Bring him back here. He's spending the night with us."
"Why?" David asked. "His parents ain't gonna like that."
"Just do what I ask you please."
"Ok."
David hurried out of the house and took off gown the street. Joey only lived two blocks down so he had to run to catch up with him. As David turned the corner he saw Joey standing there in the middle of the block staring at the cop cars that were parked in front of his house. David swallowed hard then ran down to catch up with Joey. When he caught him he reached out and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Joey?"
Joey turned and looked at David. His eyes were red and tears streaked down his face. At that moment, David wanted to take him in his arms and hold him. He didn't know what, but something bad had happened at Joey's house. David reached over and turned Joey away so he wasn't staring at the cop cars or the flashing red and blue lights.
"What happened?" Joey asked him.
"I don't know." David said. "But it can't be anything good."
"Its my Dad." Joey said as the tears started to flow. "He was the only one at home. I should have not gone to that party. I should have been here with him."
"Maybe your right. But I don't think this is in any way your fault. Come on, we're going home to my house."
As they turned, Davis led him back up the street and around the corner to his house. Joy was barely moving. He was walking like the whole world had just dropped out from under him. And it had.
At the top of the stairs to David's house, Mrs. West was there waiting for them. She grabbed Joey in a hug and held him while he cried. David stood there and watched as his mother played Mom to his best friend. After a few minutes, Mrs. West led Joey into the house and sat him at the living room table.
"What happened?" He asked her.
"I'm not sure but your brother was here and hour ago and he asked in you could stay here with us. Of course I said yes. I asked him what had happened. He said we would find out tomorrow. So tomorrow he will be back and we can talk this all out."
With David and Joey safe up in his room, Mrs West shut out the lights and went to bed. joey lay there in bed with a million things going through his mind. His father was dead. What could have happened? He probably drank himself to death. His father had been a alcoholic saw before Joey was born. For years Joey would find bottles of Scotch and pour them out. He loved his father very much but he hadn't been the same father for years. He worked until the drinking had gotten so bad that he either always had the shakes or he was totally unaware of where he was or what he was doing. He got social security and that kept them with a roof over their heads, he was barely there anymore. He lost his car and his license, their house burned one night while they were all out. Now that had a small apartment in a part of town Joey would never be caught dead in.
The next day, Joey got up and left the West home. He wanted to go home. He knew his father was gone, but he still had to go and collect all his stuff. Not that he had much. Some clothes that really didn't matter. Wherever he was going to live now they would get him new clothes.
As he walked up on the porch, he heard sounds coming from his apartment. he walked down the short fall and went into his place. The voices he heard belongs to two of his uncles searching through his fathers things for anything valuable.
"Excuse me." Joey said. "What are you doing here?"
"We came to get your fathers things in order."
"Oh you mean like his wallet?" Joey stood there with his hand out. "Give it to me."
"You seem to forget he was my brother. "Uncle James said in a huff.
"No I didn't forget." Joey said. "But you did. Where were you when he needed your help? Then he was just a drunk that you couldn't be bother with. Now here you are looking to pick through his bones! Get out!! Get out and don't come back!!"
Uncle James put down the wallet and started out the door.
"And where do.."   Slam, Joey slammed the door in there face.
Enraged, Joey left the kitchen and went into his room. He picked through his clothes and took a few things but, he didn't care about anything here.
As Joey sat there, he thought about the last time he had seen his father. It was two days before New Years and Joey was the with his friend Michael in bed. Michael was the love of his life and he always will be. They were wrapped in Joey's sweaty sheets making serious love. Suddenly Joey heard banging on his bedroom door. As they jumped up, his father pushed his way through the door. The conversation. no it was more of a yelling match. It didn't last long but once they were dressed, Joey and Michael stormed out of the apartment. Joey was embarrassed, but he doubted if his father would remember anything pass the night, and he didn't.
So here we are alone in the funeral hall waiting for his family and friends. Michael was there beside him holding his hand. They didn't care what anyone thought anymore. It really didn't matter. They would be together for as long as their relationship would last and that was just fine with them. But Joey was getting sad again when he thought about his father. He really loved his Dad. So they stood up and walked our to the car and sat there in the air conditioning. Joey reached over and put on the CD player. Simple Plan came on. a song named Perfect.  He sat back and thought about the last time he saw his father alive.
It was a few hours before the party. Joey spent the day hang out with his friends. Somebody had gone to the liquor stopped and brought a bottle of Jack. They were sipping and laughing all
day..Michael stopped by and told them he wouldn’t be going with them to the party..After a few hours everyone left to go home and get dressed. Joey went home for a quick shower and shave. Once his shower was done and he was dressed, he went next door to his father’s room for some cash.As joey entered his father’s bedroom, he could smell the Scotch in the air. His father must have dropped the bottle and spilled his drink. As Joey looked around the room, he saw his father laying silently in his bed. He thought he was asleep. But now that I think back, it was to quiet in the room. No snoring, no sound as all.His wallet sat there on the bed side table.. Joey grabbed it and took $20. It wasn’t much. He just needed something in his wallet when the New Year started. With money in his pocket, Joey left locking the door behind him.

So there you go. I should have checked my father closer. He might have been dead or maybe there was something I could have done, like calling an ambulance. I might have been able to save his life.Redemption? I’ll feel guilty about this for the rest of my life.Why? Because to me it shouldn’t have mattered that he drank. This was my father, all I had to do was love him and respect him, and I couldn't get that right. I'm sorry and its gonna hurt forever..

This is a true story. The names have been changed to spare the innocent.

Hey, Dad, look at me

Think back, and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time
Doing things I want to do?
But it hurts when you disapproved all along
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
You can't pretend that I'm alright
And you can't change me

'Cause we lost it all
Nothin' lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care any more
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't…

xxx

There are frowns and there are tears.
There are times where I just can't stop crying.
All my pains and fears.
Are the days when I can't stop trying.
Do you remember those days that
nothing they said really mattered.